Book Review: "Redefining Realness" by Janet Mock
“Redefining Realness” by Janet Mock
Bookshop | Amazon
Publisher Synopsis: In her profound and courageous New York Times bestseller, Janet Mock establishes herself as a resounding and inspirational voice for the transgender community—and anyone fighting to define themselves on their own terms.
With unflinching honesty and moving prose, Janet Mock relays her experiences of growing up young, multiracial, poor, and trans in America, offering readers accessible language while imparting vital insight about the unique challenges and vulnerabilities of a marginalized and misunderstood population. Though undoubtedly an account of one woman’s quest for self at all costs, Redefining Realness is a powerful vision of possibility and self-realization, pushing us all toward greater acceptance of one another—and of ourselves—showing as never before how to be unapologetic and real.
Trigger Warning: sexual assault
Rating (out of 5): 4.5
Review: I always feel a bit weird rating memoirs, because who am I to judge someone’s life experience? So, know that when I provide ratings, they are usually compared to other books in the same category. I judge memoirs against memoirs, thrillers against thrillers, and so forth. (I think this applies to my fellow bloggers here as well!)
Janet Mock’s memoir is deeply personal, and incredibly honest. I take responsibility for the fact that I am not as informed about trans issues as I would like to be, and this memoir is a step in that education process for me. However, it’s important to remember that this book is just one woman’s experience and she cannot and does not speak for all trans individuals.
Growing up poor, Black, and bounced around from parent to parent, Janet’s childhood was the opposite of stable. Coupled with the fact that she was assigned the wrong gender at birth, there is a lot going on.
However, Janet was also fortunate in many ways. In her teens, she was part of an active queer and trans community in Hawaii and had a support system in them. And, she has the benefit of “pretty privilege” which she has written about for Allure. I do not say this to make light of the trauma that Janet experienced growing up, but to reiterate that this is just one trans woman’s story. So many trans individuals are kicked out of their homes with no support system, unable to work because their assigned gender on their IDs does not match their true gender, and are subject to violence within a system that does not prioritize them.
Janet writes about being held up as a token, “as the ‘right’ kind of trans woman (educated, able-bodied, attractive, articulate, heteronormative). It promotes the delusion that because [she] ‘made it,’ that level of success is easily accessible to all young trans women. Let’s be clear: it is not.”
She writes about the sex industry, and why so many trans women engage in the sex trade: “though we act as individuals, we can’t remove ourselves from the framework of society. Systemic oppression creates circumstances that push many women to choose sex work as a mean of survival, and I was one of those women, choosing survival.” For Janet, sex work was a way to earn money for the surgery she so desperately wanted, but she notes that not every trans woman chooses to undergo surgery.
She writes about “passing,” and being seen as a “real woman” vs a “trans woman” (hence the title, “Redefining Realness”). “If a trans woman who knows herself and operates in the world as a woman is seen, perceived, treated, and viewed as a woman, isn’t she just being herself? She isn’t passing; she is merely being.”
I highly recommend this book, not just as an educational tool for trans issues, but also because it is a truly beautiful memoir!
TL;DR: A beautiful coming-of-age story that takes us on Janet’s very personal journey to becoming unapologetically herself, and reminding us that there is no one correct way of being.
If you liked this, try:
“We’re Going to Need More Wine” by Gabrielle Union (Bookshop | Amazon)
“The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl” by Issa Rae (Bookshop | Amazon)
“Love, Loss, and What We Ate” by Padma Lakshmi (Bookshop | Amazon)
“We Have Always Been Here” by Samra Habib (Bookshop | Amazon)
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